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Sleepless

by Grey Gordon

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1.
Failings 03:46
Can you tell me when having conviction Became cliche and so passe And pointing fingers is never my intention I know it must come off that way I'm just confused at what the fuck happened to you And why you just gave up And why I'm injured by everything you do And why it hurts so much I'm totally overwhelmed with disbelief Let's talk about how you always manage To make me feel less secure And how I never really take advantage Of time alone to sort this out And how these blues are cunning and contagious They spread me out like a disease And how you keep me scribbling on pages Writing you between my lines I'm totally overwhelmed with disbelief\ Every time I think of this It makes me sick to think I missed My chance to save you from yourself This world and everybody else It's hard to have to realize how The shot you had is fucked up now And it's my fault for giving up And losing hope, abusing love I know that I abandoned you You're every bit of sleep I lose I'm human but it's no excuse For all the things I didn't do
2.
Circular 04:12
You're all fucked up on pills again And it's only 8pm Running back to the alley to be alone So nobody will know You can barely speak and it's starting to show I think it's time to take you home I feel alone, I am alone Sitting on your couch we try to speak Incoherently I kiss you anyway, you taste like smoke And pharmacy Six months ago you changed your name And me I am to blame I feel ashamed, I am ashamed I've gotten old, I've gotten ancient But no wiser You lost your tact, I lost my patience And we expired It's useless searching for a cause It is no factor We never cared for linear I think the love came after I'm underneath the floor again The metaphor is prim Feeling heavy with a weight beyond my years Is this what youth fears Cataclysm could be the right word I don't mean to sound absurd But it feels deserved, it is deserved I think I lost you to the world After all you're just a kid How can I expect you still to care What, for all the good it did Six months from now we'll both be old At least that's what I'm told I feel annulled, I've been annulled I've gotten old, I've gotten ancient But no wiser You lost your tact, I lost my patience And we expired It's useless searching for a cause It is no factor We never cared for linear I think the love came after
3.
Lost Cause 03:15
These days I don't feel quite myself It hurts to breathe and nothing helps The pieces never seem to fit They break and trickle from my grip Feels like I'm running out of time Spent up with death not far behind I could keep running my whole life And I would never see the light I am half the man you think I am I'm sorry if you were deceived But I'm not who you should believe in That's one thing you need to believe These days I've give up on change 'Cause every change just feels the same I'm left with nothing much to show The truth is nothing much to know They never warn you when you're young How easily we come undone How loneliness can kill the soul The loneliness of growing old I am half the man you think I am I'm sorry if you were deceived But I'm not who you should believe in That's one thing you need to believe
4.
Street by street, block by block. Taking it all back. The youth's immersed in poison Turn the tide counterattack. Violence against violence, let the roundups begin. A firestorm to purify the bane that society drowns in. No mercy, no exceptions, a declaration of total war. The innocents' defense is the reason it's waged for. Born addicted, beaten and neglected. Families torn apart, destroyed and abandoned. Children sell their bodies, from their high they fall to drown. Demons crazed by greed cut bystanders down. A chemically tainted welfare generation. Absolute complete moral degeneration. Born addicted, beaten and neglected. Families torn apart, destroyed and abandoned. Children sell their bodies, from their high they fall to drown. Demons crazed by greed cut bystanders down. Corrupt politicians, corrupt enforcement, drug lords and dealers all must fall. The helpless are crying out. We have risen to their call. A firestorm to purify.
5.
Exhausted 02:29
What the hell am I trying to accomplish Wasting words about a girl I know could not care less I'll name loneliness the accomplice I feel the pull of time and it's frightening, I confess So here's the last signal I'm sending out Consider addressed to All the things we used to sit and dream about Back when my hopefulness impressed you And youth was more than just a petty thing If we said it then we meant it In our innocence we fucked up everything We never could've kept it I'm so fed up with resignation I swear I'm sorry, I'm just not quite sure what for It may just sound like desperation Maybe it is, but can you blame me anymore So can it all just be forgiven now Go back to being golden Or have we simply just forgotten how To struggle and to hold on Do I have nothing left to offer you Can you tell me where I lost it Can love just not do what I want it to Is the fantasy exhausted
6.
Sanka 02:48
I've spent too many days alone to remember How I've made it through these 21 Decembers How I've passed the years with no luck on my side Can I make it out of this alive I've spent too much time on things that don't matter Stumbling over everything but what I'm after And I've forgotten how it feels to walk with pride I don't think I'll make it out of this alive I've never had the strength to stand up on my own I've built up walls, but it's no place to call a home But if you stand by me, we'll make each other strong We'll breathe for one another We'll keep pushing on Pushing on
7.
Not sure why I've been missing you lately Maybe it's the rain or the changing of the leaves I can't help wondering if you still hate me Or has my better half gladly forgotten me Do you ever hear the messages I'm sending In your heart am I still worthy of the blame And do you honestly believe I was pretending Wasn't that love when I was calling out your name In the end Could this really be my destiny To wake up next to girls who are not you When you don't even think of me I can't help but to think it may be true After all is said and done I still miss you There's always something in the changing of the seasons This fall is finding me a couple steps behind I'm still uncertain if this memory's worth keeping Could it be you only lived inside my mind The whole time And if it's true that I am better off without you Then why I am no better off than I've always been And why is every song I write about you Why do I smell you every time that I breathe in Could this really be my destiny To wake up next to girls who are not you When you don't even think of me I can't help but to think it may be true After all is said and done I still miss you

about

This record was recorded in several grueling late night sessions over the winter of 2011/2012 with Matt Riefler at Digitracks Studio. We slept less than any humans should.

Currently available in cassette form as a benefit for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation: softspeakrecords.storenvy.com/products/877207-grey-gordon-sleepless-cassette

credits

released August 12, 2012

Recorded/Mixed/Mastered by Matt Riefler
All Songs Written/Performed by Grey Gordon
Drums by Brandon Wynn
Tambourine by Kyle Dawalt
Funded by Tony B., Dan Kinnaley and the Federal Government
Art by Tyler Axtell

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Grey Gordon Fort Wayne, Indiana

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